Humberger, Humbug!

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 14

I rushed off to Koko and got there a minute late, which is my worst nightmare, because walking in on an on-going teacher's meeting is blatantly announcing to the whole staff that you were late. I noticed as I passed the teacher's room that people weren't assembled yet, so I put on an extra burst of speed and rushed in. I didn't even bother to get my slippers first and just went in stocking feet. The room was mostly deserted. It was the same “what memo did I miss?!” feeling I'd had the day before at Kogyo.

I went scrambling to Ottawa-sensei who claimed to also not know. A quick question a few minutes later to Mustache-sensei and I learned that teachers meetings at this school are only Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

It was MORE self-introduction lessons. During the words-about-America game, one student wrote “Free Woman God” on the board. I was confused, although it was all written and spelled correctly. As it turns out, that's a direct translation of the Japanese name for the Statue of Liberty. It's pretty awesome. We also had our usual assortment of New York, “Humberger” and Obama. Cola or “cora” comes up a lot. A student wrote Mac and I was giving them full points for the computer when the teacher informed me that the student had meant McDonald's (in Japan, often abbreviated to “Mac”) and I had to mark them down for spelling. I don't think the students quite appreciated the teacher's “help.”

Mountain-sensei by this time has heard my presentation enough that I think he's getting bored with it. He's certainly got the same questions he asks me each time down to a script during my PowerPoint presentation. “Alsace? Alsace is a ken, no?” He's also started asking me more detailed questions about a few of my slides. I don't address anywhere near what I could discuss in my presentation because there's not enough time and the English level of the students (never mind their attention span) isn't that good. But, in one class, he did ask me about the white things on the front lawn in the picture of my house. I then got to explain to an amused and confused (but mostly confused) class that for my birthday (18th, I think?) my friends snuck over in the middle of the night and stuck plastic forks in the front lawn as a prank. And it just so happens that this is the only picture of my house I had with me in Japan, so I used it. In another picture, he asked me about the flamingos on the hill when I discussed the university and I got to explain that it was a famous prank pulled by students and thus a famous picture. I also had to explain that they were plastic and a popular lawn decoration in America. He didn't look like he believed me. Frankly, I'm surprised only Mountain-sensei and one student have questioned those flamingos thus far. They're bright pink and not exactly subtle.

I spent the time I wasn't teaching in the teacher's room working on my lesson plan for Kogyo on Thursday. I fixed up the map by making it on the computer. The computers are all in Japanese, but as the icons are the same, I can generally navigate okay. Here, however, I needed to color the background of individual cells, something I didn't actually know how to do, so a quick search in Google gave me the English instructions, then I just made educated guesses to make it work on my Japanese computer. I'm not quite sure how this lesson will go. It has me worried.

I also made photocopies of all of my second lesson papers for Mama, Ottawa-sensei, Mustache-sensei and Mountain-sensei. I start teaching that in a week, but I felt pretty good getting that to Mama early. I ran over it with her on the couches in the back room and she said she liked it. I think she likes me, which I am really glad about. I have too many activities, so I've asked her to help me narrow down the best ones. For this lesson, it's based off the textbook, but is mostly my own work. For each activity, I was careful to write exactly what page and activity in the textbook inspired it and I still used the dialogue (no matter how hokey) as they requested, although I changed the names to Matt (Yamato) and Sora. Alyssum, I thought of you. I was worried about whether Mama would approve of that, but she actually praised it, saying the students really care about the characters more than the English. I'll see what other feedback I get from other teachers.

The bells at Koko play Westminster Chimes, which is positively charming compared to the buzzers my schools had back in the States.

A different English teacher, whom I don't work with, asked me to correct some second year self-introduction papers. They were seven sentences long and there was quite a range of levels. One girl went on for a while longer than required about ping pong, but her enthusiasm was not accompanied by the best grammar, which made it difficult for me to work out. One phrase she used when discussing “holding out” practice every day to make her dreams come true had me boggled until I asked two JTEs and they were able to see that she meant it in the meaning “continue,” which, as a native speaker, I couldn't see on my own. Some were amusing. One student's got political, with a statement about not liking the political thought of the Left and believing that Japan should have an army. It was quite radical compared to many of the others, which tended to be quite tame (hobbies, family, hometown.)

I had nothing on my schedule, so I kept working after school. Mustache-sensei left and I was still working. I wonder if my teachers feel bad leaving when I'm still there. After all, I'm the assistant and this is above and beyond my contract. Ottawa-sensei reminded me that I'm free to go and I had a nice talk with him about how this is my favorite desk to work at because it has SUPPLISE in it. I don't work nearly as effectively elsewhere because I struggle to find a PENCIL that works, never mind scrap paper or glue sticks. Plus, I have the computer and printer right next to me.

Eventually, at 6:30, Ottawa-sensei said that Kyoto-sensei wanted me to leave before dark (and it was already dark.) I asked if I was being kicked out. He then replied with one of the best lines: “I should let you know, at this school we have many stalkers. Stalkers? Stalkers.” He checked his pronunciation with me. As it turns out, Koko has a higher than normal incidence of people stalking the female students, which is one of the reasons Kyoto-sensei is being so protective of me. I asked Ottawa-sensei, who also consulted Kyoto-sensei if there are any areas of town I should avoid biking in and was told that there were not.

I left shortly thereafter, as Ottawa-sensei was leaving and it was just me and Kyoto-sensei left in the teacher's room and he probably can't leave with me there. As I was leaving Mama and another teacher came in, so I wasn't the absolute last, but she was certainly surprised to see me! I do admit, I was more watchful than usual biking home.

I biked to the grocery store and picked up some necessities, including my first bag of brown rice. Brown rice is very expensive and takes 12 hours of soaking before cooking.