My First Japanese Speech

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 1

It's the first day of school. Somewhere, students are filing onto Platform 9 ¾. Somehow, no matter how old I get, it skill keeps coming back, year after year. And I nearly managed to be late on my first day of school. Which would have been pretty bad. Teachers' Meeting starts at 8:25, so it's not like I can walk in late unnoticed. As it was, to get there on time, I skipped breakfast and packed myself only yogurt for lunch.

The teachers' meeting was, like last time, entirely in Japanese. It makes me appreciate the keychain: “I smile because I have no idea what's going on” so much more. No idea. Well, I do know that that there were three new teachers who were introduced, so I can deduce that they gave their little self-introduction speeches. But, the rest of the meeting...no idea. I figure if it's important, someone will say something to me. They are, after all, well aware that I am the ONLY person in the entire school who does NOT speak Japanese. It's quite an interesting position.

The teachers' room was filled with students who had come in to have their hair inspected by Mama. Most seemed to pass but even I could tell the boy with spiked brown hair wasn't going to. I can't understand Japanese, but I know enough now to never cross Mama. She did not seem happy.

I chatted with some of the students while they waited in line and we talked some about my hair, which is universally declared “out” (meaning, not allowed.) One girl had a towel around her neck (which is pretty common – it's used to mop up sweat in this heat) with English writing and what appeared to be marijuana leaves printed on it. So I asked if I could read it and, low and behold, it had some lovely lines about “I <3 High Times” and something about liking Nature's High. All with little marijuana leaves on the bottom. I asked the girl about it, and she said ti was pretty. Yes, the sunset-like stripes were pretty. But Japan also takes drugs very seriously. If we're caught doing drugs, we are deported, prosecuted, and fired. All of our friends and contacts are also questioned as potential druggies as well. And it insults the school and your coworkers are guilty by association. It's bad, let's just say that. So, I was stunned to see her with this towel in school. She obviously has no idea what it means.

After that, the students went to clean the school (really!) and I sat at my desk and frantically practiced my speech. I was informed last week that I would be doing a speech – in Japanese! – in front of the whole school. I wrote it and Mama translated it. I actually wasn't too nervous, despite all of the teachers coming up and asking me if I was. See, I figure when I signed up for this gig that I'd end up making a fool of myself. That's a given. It's actually part of my contract. So, it's going to happen, and I'm just lucky that they're paying me well for it. This is also when Mustache-sensei was kind enough to tell me that I would be giving the speech on behalf of all of the incoming teachers. I stared at him, flabbergasted. He merely said that that's what Kyoto-sensei had said during the morning teachers' meeting. Totally missed that.

We finally filed over to the gym, where we took off our slippers, walked through a teachers' office, put on SCHOOL slippers and filed into the back of the gym. Students were all sitting in columns across the expanse of the gym. Teachers lined the walls.

There were some speeches, some bows (during which I was about a beat behind), and the playing of what I assume was the school song, which was recorded by what sounded like young children. The song is actually written out in kanji on the gym wall, but that does me no good.

Finally, I was directed to walk onto state, followed by the other new teachers. We were introduced by the principal, then I was motioned to go forward and give my speech. It's really lucky that I don't have a fear of public speaking, or I'd have been in deep trouble. With about 720 students and assorted teachers, that's a lot of people to speak in front of, never mind in a language you don't speak. It was slow, it was plodding, I stumbled over a word or two, but it went well. The students chuckled at my comment about the Japanese weather being too hot. Then I was done and it was nice.

The rest of the ceremony took a good deal longer, involving many more long speeches in Japanese that I honestly, truly, have absolutely no idea the contents of. At one point, some students filed onto stage, some talking was done, then they filed off. I asked about that and found out that they will be representing the school in some sort of All-Shiga sporting event.

On the way back, I stopped and chatted with some students and had a nice, enjoyable talk until Mustache-sensei came by and politely explained that they had homeroom now, which was my hint to leave so they could be productive. I scampered off.

Back in the room, I worked on my Self-introduction PowerPoint some more, revised my Wisconsin Vocabulary sheet, and finished my Wisconsin Hanko! Sheet. By the end of the day, those all got photocopied. One copy ended up on Mama's desk and I turned a second over to Mustache-sensei.

I chatted with some visiting graduates for a while until they got kicked out. I wonder if I talk too much, but I really miss communication. I also chatted with one of the English teachers I'll be working with, Ottawa-Sensei, who has lived in Canada. His English is quite good. We chatted for quite a bit about Wisconsin, living in Japan, Canada and such before Mustache-sensei interruped us to talk about lesson plans, which, yes, actually was very practical and helpful. But Ottawa-sensei gave me his name and told me to look him up on Facebook. We're going to think on that. I typically don't friend coworkers – there's just too many ways it could go wrong. Miriam, my old boss being the notable exception because we had such a tight store and I had more dirt on her than she could possibly glean on me from my account.

I left at 4:20 and came home to find an envelope from the Madison downtown tourist board with my five maps of downtown tourist locations, which, actually, aren't visually interesting at all, so I don't know if those'll end up getting used. But it is amazing what people are willing to send me in Japan just because I asked.

Speaking of which, I got a facebook message from William, a friend from High School. It turns out that when I e-mailed UW Madison to ask them to send me promotional materials for my students, it got forwarded to him. What a crazy, random happenstance! So, he's going to help me out, which is nice. He's also going to send me a postcard, so I now must figure out the Japanese postal service so I can send the promised post-card in return to the office.

Speaking of the post office, the one part I've figured out is the parcel pick-up window. And I had a parcel to pick up today! So, suffice to say, I owe J-- a huge THANK YOU! It's her THIRD package to me, which means she's tied with my MOTHER. She sent me water-proof pants that all of the students at Stanford wear when it rains and a bit of “local” chocolate – Ghirardelli hot chocolate! Oh, she is to DIE FOR awesome!

After the post office, I needed to find the bank. I'd been putting this off because I didn't know where the bank was. But today, I had no excuse. So I asked a lady outside the post-office, who gave me a long answer and I ended up thanking her and biking in the direction she pointed. Repeated this with two other pedestrians until I finally located the bank. It turns out it's right along my route to work.

I wanted to double check my account balance as I only remember putting in, at most $150 and my utilities and internet are all being auto-wthdrawn. I was a bit worried about overages, but it turns out I have $160 in the account. I don't understand (or remember) but I'm okay with this. It's been so hectic and I usually have very little idea what is being done on my behalf as it's all done in Japanese and only sometimes explained later. This, though, means that I'm in good shape for making it until my first pay check in 9 days.
I met M----- on my way back. She's the other ALT who's returning and lives next to Elizabeth. She was quite friendly, and, when I explained my mission for the afternoon, told me that if you're overdrawn in Japan, they send you a polite post card and your fee is, at most $3. So, I will not panic so much. Japan is just so polite. It's refreshing. Josh, his wife, and the baby passed us and stopped for a brief chat, too.

I decided to splurge and make an expensive dinner. So I made a grilled cheese and it was delicious. Yes, that's right... it has TWO dairy products (cheese and butter) and it adds up, oh god yes. I was talking to Ottawa-sensei about how I miss cheese. I swear, I wasn't such a cheese fiend back at home.

Oh, and by special request, I was asked what foods I miss in Japan. Cheese is the big one. Mexican food comes next. Something spicy, with a kick. Once I track down less-expensive cheese, I'm making enchiladas with the recipe that Alan used back at school. Your taste buds die a fiery and delicious death. Pasta probably comes next. We can get spaghetti, but sauce is really expensive and rather bland. And cheese sauces don't exist in vegetarian form. I suppose I should just be blunt and say Macaroni and Cheese. I brought about 12 boxes with me to Ireland, but I didn't have room this time around. Foreign Buyers Club has it for $3 a box, but with how expensive butter is... that's a pricy meal. Wheat bread is also missing. They have wheat bread (for about $0.50 a slice!) but it's really just white bread with some wheat flour thrown in, not even whole grain. All bread here is Wonder-bread white. I've considered a bread machine, but flour is outrageously expensive and I haven't seen any wheat flour anyway. I am happy to report that ice cream is both good and reasonably priced (relative to everything else.)